three precious moments...

I had you in my life for 3 moments... 3 precious moments and I will never forget them.

I tried to fight the feeling and did it was successfully... but then I thought this time I would just let it win.

DAMN it felt good.

You made me feel sick, I mean sick to my stomach, I wanted to throw up.

Was it the alcohol? No.

Was it this thing called butterflies? Yes.

You stole my mind with that kiss and almost my heart. Good thing I keep that ish locked up in a safe. HAHA.

I don't really know what else to say...

I am sad you left my life but am so blessed you came into my life. You were sent from God.

You brought passion back into my life, true passion. Thank you.

You reminded me of exactly what I want and need in my life. Thank you.

always in my prayers, always loving your presence and knowledge and always, always in my heart<3

cheers to bringing the butterflies back in my life, thanks.

That is all.

onitch

losing each other along the way...

We never really were that close.
We have tried to make this strong bond many times before but it just doesn't seem to stick.

Who are we kidding we are different regardless of our blood bond.
Same house, different lives lived.

Seems you put more effort into other people than the person across the hall.
It's like how nowadays when you hang out with people they seem to be on their phones more than having a conversation with the person right beside them. Sad.

I love you and will always love you but truth is is you don't care or you just have tried to care as much as you can but it still translates to me as not caring.

All I can say is I do feel bad that I am not what you hoped I would be but I am who I am and hopefully you can learn to accept it a little more each day that passes.

We all struggle with the relationships with family members, significant others and friends.
All I can hope is even if we can't be close we can at least be honest and accepting. 

So cheers to waiting for the day that can happen between each other.

That is all.

onitch

dont answer. weirdo...

So I have probably the worst luck in the love department... I mean horrible.
I am never too rattled by it because well I'm just not... only under crazy circumstances.
ANYWAYS

So I meet many people and swap many numbers because my motto is; LFT because TIP 
Which means 'Live for today because tomorrow isn't promised'
ANYWAYS

I met a fellow brother(s) and one was a little too eager and the other was chill so obviously I hit it off with the chill one better but still exchanged numbers with both of them.
It was funny because 'eager brother' looked SO FAMILIAR yet I couldn't put my finger on it and I kept saying ''I know you from somewhere, I know you''
ANYWAYS

As I eventually started talking with 'chill brother' the next day I still hadn't heard from 'eager brother' so the both of us laughed and wondered when he would spit his 'game' (no offense if you ever read this but the truth is the truth)
ANYWAYS

So a couple days later I get a text from.... guess who.... and I seriously swear this is what he showed up as..

"Dont Answer. Weirdo"

I am not one to cast a huge judgement on someone but this guy obviously still lives up to his 'eager' 'name'

CONCLUSION 
I knew I knew this guy. What makes it worse is that he acted like he didn't know me. I legitimately forgot.
Typical scenarios in my life. Boy do I hate and love it hahaha!!

That is all.

onitch

Only knowing the surface...

Many people will say the same thing about me.
Many people will come to an agreement of what I'm like, what I like and how I am.

By the way they talk about me it sounds great.
Unfortunately that's my surface... and makes me realize how many people really don't know me.
Even my own family.

Friends I really thought were closer.... really aren't and really don't know anything about me.
Regardless God bless them.

My real friends..actually I think anyone's real friends are those who question and constantly challenge them.
Maybe once in a while judge them accordingly.


SHOUT OUT to my real friends who do that for me, I appreciate you more than you can really understand.
I love you guys like my family because you are my family, blood or not.

To those who I thought were close to me and now over time have realized we really aren't that close...I still appreciate you and have love for ya.

That is all.

onitch

impatiently waiting...

i want something but i am unaware of what it actually is...

i have many thoughts of what it may be...
;religion
;love
;family

i have a question but not an answer.

so here i am wondering, questioning and waiting..
it could be all three or it could just be my////

all i know is that there is something missing and i'm looking for it and have yet to find it.
i wish i could get a little more guidance.

only God knows what it is at this time.
i just hope He throws me a bone soon because i don't know if i can wait anymore...

all i do know is, is that sometimes all we need is someone to sit with us silently in our moment of weakness and listen to that song that makes us feel even more emotional yet it still seems to be the perfect song for the moment. 

onitch

Baseball love..

Baseball is one of... I can't even find the right words to describe the amount of joy it brings me.

With baseball right around the corner I feel I owe it a lovely rant. The key word is lovely.

I remember watching my first ball game it was on the tele *as she laughs to herself* and I'll be honest it was horrible. I wanted to kill myself.
My only reason for watching it, was from losing a bet.
Anyways when the brutal 9 innings were over I said adios, see ya later...more like NEVER.
To my surprise I was secretly crawling back to the tv a couple days later.
& that's how the flirting started between us. Our secret love.
Soon enough I was addicted to the game...in LOVE with baseball.
It didn't take a genius to realize it.

Less than a year later I felt it was time to see my new love face to face..no more of this eHarmony crap!
The minute I walked into the Rogers Centre the smell of hot dogs, peanuts and beer rushed to me... I'm not gonna lie I actually cried for a minute it was beautiful. (no lie, ask my mother)
Nothing like your first baseball game.
Despite not being able to drink, hearing my mother cheer for the A's with some fat American fans and then losing to them. The experience was absolutely amazing. Unforgettable!

& that is the fairy tale story of how baseball and I met and then fell in love, for all the future generations to know.

We still have quite a serious long distance relationship going on...
I live in Vancouver they live in Toronto. We meet up at least once a year and it works lovely just incase you're wondering ;)
--good luck this season Ca-nada's boys of the summer! you got this!

I actually care..

I know my actions may seem like I don't care for you but that isn't the case at all..
I actually care for you quite deeply.

It's funny I don't mind looking like the bad girl for wanting to give it up, what we have.
Call me selfish, tell me I have no faith or patience, tell me what ever makes you feel better.
Honestly please do and I don't mean it in a sarcastic way at all.
I just feel that as much as I care for you, I do care for me more.
I do believe you should care for yourself a little more.

You always have an excuse... STOP.
I tried to get us on the same page;achieve the ultimate goal(ATUG)
I am on the road to the top and the vehicle still has plenty of seats but I can't force you to come.
I can't promise you it'll be easy, hell I don't even know what obstacles may lay ahead but all I do know is my ultimate goal(UG) is there.
All of those brave enough to take the journey know we may run out of gas but we do know that we want it bad enough we will find some more gas or we will walk even crawl until we get to our UG.

The hidden beauty of having an UG/dream is the ignorance of the struggles before we can even get there.
As we start from a beginning of nothing we see a glamorous no better yet, we see a glorious finish.
We relentlessly disregard the thought of failure.
But once we acknowledge that failure and set backs are and will become part of the journey to our UG we are truly ready for our journey to the top!

I really truly wanted you to be there with me and be there with you as we would rise to the top but you chose not to.
With your decision I am left to say "I wish the best of luck to you and wish nothing but happiness.. but we are now going different directions."

Me and my fellow UG getters are ready to depart on our journey and I am sure we will meet and pick up other UG getters along the way and maybe we might just see you again.

--i forever and am constantly grateful to my fellow UG getters who help me when i'm feeling a little down!

Merci...hell no I will NOT thank you!

Merci.. no more like NO THANK YOU.
I wish I was getting paid to make this crap!


This commercial is a DISGRACE!! (To anyone who enjoys commercials)
Watch it.. 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhTlly0xLdo


First of all you have a crappy English speaker as the main speaker yet you have harsh Europeans in the commercial... 
Hmmm.... 
I want this to be KNOWN that the ONLY reason I even tried this chocolate was because it was at someones house and they insisted I eat is as it was apparently "The BEST chocolate ever"
No no no the only reason it tasted pretty good was because of the horrible ad and I was hungry.
If anything I'd rather eat some cheaper chocolate like Kit-Kat or Mini Eggs.


Come on I mean at least can the guy say "Merci" correctly? I know Americans from the South who could knock it out of the park better than this fool.*as she laughs to herself*
& come on "Thank you means Merci" really? really?? REALLY??? 
Once again I wish I was being paid to make this crappy commercial. 
Watching this.. no no thinking about this ad and that word now DRIVES ME INSANE. 
I will spend my time giving it as much negative feed back that who ever was in charge of hiring and making that ad should never be allowed to make that decision again. (Ok maybe I won't be the only reason but I'll tell myself that I am the reason)


"Thank you means Merci"... HAHAHA thanks genius you're so clever ;) What am I in my grade 4 french class again??
That is all. 

Where and What is Your Passion..

It's been brought to my attention that I haven't wrote a blog rant in a while. 

I had up until then thought it was because I had nothing to rant about/just write about... 

After staring at the screen wondering why I couldn't finish more then one sentence it all made sense.

I have too many things I want to write.

Very very very few people read this so(six to be exact) what the hell.. I'll write as I damn please.

Whether it's funny, serious, romantic, hateful or just plain stupid I will write it. 

Like my grade six diary.

So what is on the young bucks mind? Oh bozhe tons!

My question is...

Why do so many of us crave love from the opposite sex so badly?

Don't get me wrong love is a beautiful thing but.. 

Why don't we crave the same way for our own personal success;however small it may be.

I just don't understand where our passion has gone.

So many people I've met have no clue what they want to do or out of life..besides riches and love.

Where is the passion!? What drives you, makes you smile, makes you laugh?

Now go out there and GET IT. 

The funny thing is we tend to fear going after it because we fear failing. 

In my opinion your failure is solely weighed and measured by yourself.

Someone may tell you one thing but they are not the one doing the final weigh in..you are!

& really.. is it really a failure or is it a mistake and once you change that word you can change your whole concept.

& when you make mistakes you fix it and do better.

End of story. 

Don't doubt yourself because YOU are sealing shut the doors which lead to many different adventures you will now not experience. 

Haha I have defiantly ranted off.. and I am quite content with clicking enter without changing anything.

But...

Isn't it funny how at the end of the day all the expectations we feel placed on our shoulders are not actually from everyone else but from ourselves. 

i love when i rant and finally find answers to my questions.